Random Fridays

• Have you ever finished reading a book and then gone like this?
• Well, that was me this week! Man, I love a good book
• That java post from earlier this week was contentious. Wah, if I didn’t have a thick skin! You should have seen what people wrote on twitter!
• Anyway, I have not been blogging for 8 years to win awards, to gain friends, to make money or be popular. I blog what I feel like and I am happy with it.
• Everyone who has something negative to say, click the X and bounce! Please.
• Said in a kind way since I am practising kindness but don’t take it for weakness!
• This week I finally made some changes in my life that were like two years in the making. I am so proud of myself!
• Best internet finds of this week .. click here for a blog that is awesome and hilarious and here for a video that is making my week!
• I wrote an anonymous letter this week. And mailed it.
• I got the idea from More Love Letters. Yes indeed, the world needs more love letters.
• One of my good friends became engaged this week. That is awesome and thrilling!
• Sushi for dinner TONIGHT! Yum!
• What grand plans are there this weekend?

Have a lovely one friends.

Dating in Nairobi

From the stories I have heard, Tujuane and reading on social media, the dating scene has changed somewhat since my single days which ended when I started dating my husband, which was late 2008.

I think the fundamentals of dating are the same and there are people out there having awesome dating experiences and honestly, I wish they would speak about it more often. We are often mostly bombarded with negative stories about dating that I know a couple of people who have completely given up on ever dating.

Based on what I have read, I want to say a couple of things (this list is not exhaustive).

•  I might as well start with this one -I do not understand women who NEVER pay for dates. I know a girl who has NEVER paid a single dime for any dates she has been to. It baffles me truth be told. How is it even possible? I even read about men paying for women’s salon bills. Till today, I don’t think that has happened to me. I wouldn’t even know how to react. But hey, if the man is willing…. as long as he is not complaining about it behind your back, then more power to you. My issue is with the expectation that bills being paid for you is part of the dating process.
• Substantive conversations do not happen via text or whatsapp, take the time to meet each other and have face to face conversations. Even Skype is better.

• Don’t rush into getting physical – despite what society tells you.

• Do not come to dates with your friends. This is not cool dudes and dudettes. Just don’t!
• Change it up a bit – do different things, go different places, sometimes sit still but together.
• However, stick to a budget.
• For those who consider themselves FOODIES: Java/Dormans and all manner of coffee houses is not “dining out”

For more pictures from the 1938 dating guide to single women, click here

You are Enough

I think society has it in for us. I read somewhere that media is the most powerful tool since it shapes us (or something to that effect). If we were to read and absorb especially what is said about having “made it” in life, how beautiful is defined as, then definitely where most of us are in not “enough”. It seems society wants us to be more, have more, expect more, weigh less and all those things and most times, especially if you are to believe it, it becomes a burden.

We are always bombarded with adverts:

“Buy This”                                               “New phone”

“Bigger Car”                                           ”SALE”                ”WEIGHTLOSS”

It has become the norm to judge people based on what phone they use, what car they drive, their body size … et al. It is never enough. You are not enough.

Why and since when?

We are becoming a society rooted in consumerism and do you know what suffers? Our relationships. Whether with your family or your friends. Consumerism in and of itself is individualistic in nature, it is about serving the interest of “me”. And  with media focusing on it even more, it becomes a near obsession. The question is, is that really what life is about?

You know what ladies and gentlemen, block out the clutter, block out the negativity, block out the voices that keep telling you that you are not enough, that you should be ashamed of what you have and the point at which your life is at.

You are here. You are enough.

To understand the heart and mind of a person, look not at what he has already achieved, but what he aspires to.
~Khalil Gibran~

Java Mama Ngina Shall Never Be Visited Again

According to one of my friends, I will boycott so many places that I will be forced to be staying at home (I am currently boycotting Westgate, Valley Arcade and Yaya). But I do not think I will run out of places to go. I feel that as Kenyan Consumers we are so conditioned to think that we do not have choices and that’s why we continue to accept mediocre service from lacklustre places. Also our penchant to stick to service providers we are used to (not necessarily the best provider) is our worst characteristic. But that is a post for another day.

Now, onto the Java visit.

A few weeks back, babes had an early morning meeting and so he dropped me in town at 6.30. I looked at Dormans across the street and Java and decided to go with Java. When babes and I were dating, every odd Friday, we would have breakfast there. We became kind of regulars actually but it had been a while since I had sat down to eat.

I took my seat, ordered hot lemon honey ginger(which is now 200 bob which is ridiculous…) and a bagel. I had time to kill so I wrote my to do list and read my book while observing the goings on. By 6.45ish, the place was full and yet only had two waitresses. I noticed one customer go to the cashier to complain that he had yet to be served. At some point, I asked for a serviette for some split drink which never came so I used the kleenex that I carry in my handbag. Seeing as it was nearing 7.30, I asked for the bill from a waitress. Ten minutes later, it had yet to come. I tweeted this:

I ended up going to the cashiers and paying the bill and walked out vowing never to return. Am I justified? I think so. I think it was a culmination of many things some of which are listed below:

• If you are a regular (there were familiar faces there from the days we frequented it more) – you get extra conversation and smiles. 
• If there are more people in the morning hours, shouldn’t there be more servers/waiters?
• Is it possible for the staff at Java Mama Ngina to not talk their personal business so loudly. I was sat very near the door but I could hear what stories the staff were talking. Very unprofessional.
• Your price increases are ridiculous. Hot lemon honey ginger was 110, now it is 200. What increased in price? The water? Lemon? Honey? or Ginger? Or is it because it became popular?

I have heard so many people complain about Java yet we (me being a culprit) always go back. I am trying to do better and be a more informed consumer because honestly speaking, some of these companies in Kenya should not be doing as well as they are seeing their pretty crap products and service.

What Had Happened Was

So last week’s hiatus was totally unplanned.

I only realised at 9 am on Monday that I had no post to put up. Then on Tuesday, I had a disastrous early morning meeting at work that just put the “F-IT” attitude that surely lasted to Thursday.

Anyway, I was fully on Facebook and Twitter so if you want to keep up with what I am up to, like the page or follow me on twitter.

I have fun posts this week starting with a review of a recent visit to Java Mama Ngina, finally getting around to the post on living with intention among others.

For now, I posted a wedding Ciikuweds after a long time.

Three Videos I Watched Recently

Mafikizolo – Khona (Isn’t her hairdo amazing?)

Sara Mitaru – You Said

Villagers Band – Be the Fool

Random Fridays

 

/thatisall