Thoughts on Marriage Books I Have Read Recently

January 28, 2013 by Ciiku | 6 Comments

I have read some short books recently but they have been poignant.

Of note are two marriage books that I recently finished:

• The Marriage Manifesto
• Living in Love: Secrets of Marriage from the Bible

Here are some excerpts that I want to share and comment upon, the first being what I shared on the FB page from Living in Love:

It’s hard for a wife to be in subjection to a jellyfish, a man who avoids issues, puts off decisions, and shirks his responsibilities. There is nothing to submit to, no leadership to follow. A wife cannot help her husband fulfill God’s goals for his life when she doesn’t even know what his goals are.

There is nothing as hard to deal with as someone who tells you ‘I don’t know” or “Do what you want” or as Bee said, emotionally absent (including when it comes to wedding planning). Being with someone who is able to be your husband in as fas as being responsible and decisive is concerned is such a blessing. A story is told of a couple who had decided on having two kids. After the second girl was born, the mother in law insisted that they have to get a third child. The son succumbed to the pressure and this ended up being a big issue in their marriage. This is just a very minor example of men not being decisive when it comes to putting their (nuclear) family first.

I am a firm believer in “a man will leave his mother and father and be united to his wife and they shall become one“. One of the chapters in the Power of a Praying Wife talks about praying for his decision making. Wives – you should. If there is a gentleman who has read Power of a Praying Husband – let us know the details. Thanks

On Submission

Healthy submission does not prohibit the expression of opinions. That is a sick submissiveness, usually motivated by a low self-esteem (“my opinions aren’t worth anything”), by a fear of unpleasant circumstances (“I want peace at any price”), or by the avoidance of responsibility (“let somebody else make the decision; I don’t want to get blamed”).

Submission is always a tricky subject when it comes to marriage and for those who are religious. People are even wary when talking about it but this sentence right here, is something married people need to think about.

The Marriage Manifesto

The Marriage Manifesto is written by one of my favourite blog authors: Dr Kelly Flanagan of the Marriage is for losers blog post. This book is truth.

Here are some excerpts:

If we approach our marriages like a commodity, we will consume the most beloved person in our lives. We will consume them in the same way we would consume any other commodity. We will marry them because we expect them to meet particular needs. We will expect to customize them until they are able to do so. And if they ultimately fail to serve their function, we will trade them in for a different product.

This paragraph totally sums up why marriage is not for the selfish because if you are marrying someone expecting them to meet some need in your life, you are setting yourself for disaster.

I can’t believe I’m saying this, but maybe if we want to radically re-envision our marital commitment, we should treat our marriages like a business ………………………………………………………….. Can you imagine investing your entire life’s savings into a business, opening the doors, and then sitting back and heaving a sigh of relief, as if the hard work is already done? It would spell doom for the business. And yet, in the most valuable endeavor of our lives, as the moment of the wedding day vow fades into memory, we abandon intentionality in our marriages.

Can I get an AMEN?!?!

I know I have said that I will write about intentionality and I will but for now, all those who are married or in relationships, be intentional about it.

Both these books are free ebooks so please take a moment and read them!

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