Are you fresh off a wedding day?
Now that planning is over, here are some things I have to say about marriage.
- Sex/Intimacy
- Your home is your marital home, not your parents house (or wherever you used to live before) – What does this mean? You cannot walk out of arguments and go to your “own” space/parents house… etc. You are married – learn how to best deal with your arguments.
- You have to keep your spouse in mind when you make plans and decisions no matter how small you may think they are. Do you want to go to the kite festival this weekend? It may be good to ask your spouse their plans also.
- Have plans. There is nothing that makes you realise you need to plan things than marriage – If you have not discussed issues to do with money, in laws, kids, responsibilities etc before marriage, early on during the marriage is the best time to do so. However, this is not to say that the decisions made are static
- Sometimes it is hard – especially early on when you are trying to understand each other. However, it will be harder if you have negative thoughts about it and more so, if you are not willing to bend. What happens in someone else’s marriage will not be the same to yours. Do not compare, do not compete.
- Dating is something that should continue and should be something that you want to continue. Make the effort to take time out of your regular routine and be Mr and Mrs.
- Create new traditions – whether it revolves around wine and a movie on Fridays, out of town trips, bowling – whatever it is, let it be something that you and your spouse enjoy and endeavour to do together
- Marriage is fun and any person who tells you otherwise should not be part of your circle. If you surround yourself with people who have these negative attitudes, it will feed into your soul and ultimately, into your marriage.
- Sex/Intimacy
- Do not think you have arrived – What do I mean? Make effort to look good for each other and all that fun stuff.
If I was asked for which books to read, I would suggest Power of a Praying Wife by Stormie Omartian.
Also, this list is not in the least bit exhaustive.
Wishing you all, happy marriages.
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I felt called to write this post especially to newly weds
February 6, 2013 at 8:49 am
Hi Ciiku, I stumbled on you wedding blog last week, read through all of it. Very very informative thanks for all the advice to us would be brides. I fully agree with your list; especially the part that marriage is fun, of late there’s been a lot of negativity surrounding marriage.
February 6, 2013 at 9:51 am
So very true…. i loved that book ‘the power of a praying wife’. i think its a must read for every woman whos married or intends to get married some day. Another amazing book that im currently reading now and can reccommed is ‘A Wife After God’s Own Heart’ by Elizabeth George.
February 6, 2013 at 10:32 am
Me I just love how you talk about marriage so positively and encouragingly!May you be blessed for walking this journey with the newly-weds and the not so newly wed!!
‘The Power of a Praying Wife’ is a great book (and should be in every woman’s handbag I reckon) because as you rightly say,it’s hard especially in the initial stages but with prayer,all things are possible!You’re a blessing Ciiku!Thankyou!
February 6, 2013 at 11:03 am
I am just wondering why number 1 and number 9 are just comments without explanation. With that said, I think you provide sensible advise. I think people who have been married for over 3 months need to read number 10 a couple of times. Sometimes people behave as if they have arrived…….
February 6, 2013 at 11:16 am
Njenva,remember when we asked Ciiku about number 1 and 9 in an earlier post and she leeengad!!I suppose it’s a no go zone….at least in this forum!