You are not perfect. There is nothing as important as realising this truth. You are not perfect.
You have a bad temper. You are slow to forgive.
You are slow to appreciate. You are a bad listener.
You are a bad communicator. You are a tad bit selfish.
All these things are not good for any marriage but I believe the most important thing is acknowledging your shortcomings and then trying to improve yourself.
There is no lie ever perpetuated in this world like the lie of “This is the way I am, nothing can change me“.
Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself. -Leo Tolstoy
Before I expound on this, let me first say that there is nothing you can do to change your spouse. No amount of silent treatment, nit picking and all those things can change someone. Your spouse/partner has to be willing to change.
Consider how hard it is to change yourself and you’ll understand what little chance you have in trying to change others. -Jacob M. Braude
Back to change: I know there are many of those who say that someone should be themselves at all times and if someone is not happy with you, then they should not be together. I agree with this sentiment to the extent where I think you should not be someone who wants to totally overhaul your personality. However, that being said, there is nothing to be gained from being static, being a negative and all round bad person.
You cannot expect to achieve new goals or move beyond your present circumstances unless you change. -Les Brown
Real story: I am a pretty good texter/caller/whatsapper/emailer, my husband is not. Like seriously, this was a bone of contention earlier on during our dating days. I got over it though because it was not that big of a deal to me. Now? Things have changed considerably. He even responds to emails! (This is a big deal – his family can attest to this). Did he make a change consciously? He says he did.
He who rejects change is the architect of decay. The only human institution which rejects progress is the cemetery. -Harold Wilson
So what am I saying?
Each of us in marriage have an opportunity to better ourselves not only for our own sake but for the sake of the marriage. Honestly, at that point when you have decided that marriage is the path you intend to take, your mind has to be open to the idea that change is coming and that you need to embrace it.